Hammer Mill Days

Did somebody borrow my amp yesterday? If so, I pity them. That thing is a piece of shit. Next time, borrow and amp from someone who knows something about shopping. I myself am a bit out of practice. Yeah, we of Big Green are back in the broke period, scrounging around for a few extra dollars, sharing leftovers, and hiding from the mailman. Good thing they don't have bailiffs in this century, because those mothers would be at the door of the Cheney Hammer Mill right now, pounding away, court papers in their sweaty hands. What's the problem? Simple - we owe. We owe back taxes, we owe for the grocery bill, we owe for the electric bill, and we owe something to pretty much everybody in this funky ass town. I know what you're going to say. (I suspect you knew I was going to say that. WHY DO WE EVEN BOTHER TALKING?) You were probably going to ask, why don't you guys just knuckle down and earn the money to support your lazy asses? Good question. There are as many answers to...

Instead of making you read through my usual rantings and ravings, I wanted to share a few items I saw on the Web that I thought were particularly good, eye-opening, useful, etc. Let's see if you agree. Thinking About the Election Michael Albert and Stephen R. Shalom   Z Magazine , September 2016 https://zcomm.org/zmagazine/thinking-about-the-elections/ This is one of the best-written, most thoughtful arguments in favor of strategic voting in the 2016 elections from a distinctly radical-left perspective. As someone who considered his support for Bernie Sanders a rightward compromise, I think this piece provides some really valuable answers to the Bernie-or-Bust obsession, as understandable as that sentiment may be. No one can accuse Z Magazine of watery liberalism or crypto-Clintonism. This article demonstrates that they have looked seriously at the current political moment and understand the full potential costs of a Trump presidency. It made me proud to be a longtime Z sub...

Okay, we didn't go on the boat trip up the Erie Canal. It was a stupid idea, I admit. Sounds like one of mine. I should remember where it came from, but I often forget the provenance of my worst ideas. Call it a self-defense mechanism ... or call it "Lenny," if you like. Whatever floats your boat. As is always the case, life intrudes on the best-laid plans. We were all ready to load up our non-existent gondola with pick-a-nick baskets, life jackets, and a bunch of other stuff we don't own, and then the news broke: Astronomers had discovered a small, Earth-like planet orbiting Proxima Centauri, the closest star system to our own. As the story worked its way into newspapers, television and radio broadcasts, and web sites, it quickly reached the attention of our mad science adviser, Mitch Macaphee. His reaction? Let's just say that there was a little mushroom cloud where his head used to be. I thought he was experimenting with some new anti-personnel weapon - a per...

The thing called Trump is attempting a new strategy this week: slap some lipstick on the race-baiting pig and hope that that's enough to convince wealthier, suburban G.O.P. voters that they are not, in fact, racists themselves. How do you do that without abandoning the psychotic core of the party of Lincoln? Well, you hire Kelly Anne Conway AND Steve Bannon. Bannon will cavort with alt-right neo-nazis and Kelly Anne will deftly smooth it all over. It's like that guy-with-two-heads movie - one head is a racist Ray Milland and the other is 1970s Rosy Greer. That's the Trump campaign in a nutshell. Conway is a good con artist. I suppose you could find her convincing if you choose to forget that in 2012, Trump was birther-in-chief, claiming that his operatives were turning up "unbelievable" stuff on Obama's birth certificate - a campaign that was always about race, about being the "other", about legitimacy. I suppose you could buy what she's sell...

Got everything packed? Good, good. Don't forget the picnic (pronounced pick-a-nick) basket. Then there's the water supply, or at least that machine Mitch invented that makes water from thin air using something that looks like a spark plug. (I think the Robinsons used it on Lost In Space , right alongside the clothes washer that folded garments and wrapped them in plastic.) Well, it's been a long summer, and we have done absolutely NOTHING that can be considered recreational. Yes, Marvin (my personal robot assistant) rolled over to the hardware store once or twice to pick up some machine oil and batteries. Yes, the mansized tuber struck up a friendship with some ornamental plant outside the 7-11. Yes, Mitch Macaphee went to half a dozen mad science conferences, one held in an abandoned cement plant on the north end of town. (I told him to have it here, that one abandoned mill is just as good as another, but he wasn't having any of that.) Still, none of this can be cons...

I'm going to rant about something that has really gotten under my skin this week, and I want to say up front that I am not raising this in defense of Obama's foreign policy so much as in response to a thirty-five year hyper-nationalist obsession that shows no sign of abating. I'm referring to the recent stories about the $400 million transfer to Iran coinciding with the release of some key detainees, and the consequent hysterical response and cries of "ransom!" on the part of center-right pols and pundits. Even purported liberals have adopted some of the language of this crusade, pointing out apparent "linkage" between the payment and the release. Let me make just a few points in response. First, the $400 million is not our money; it is Iran's money. It represents funds paid by the Iranian people for arms sold to the despotic Shah before his overthrow; the arms were never delivered, and with the application of sanctions, the money was frozen, like ...

Did you upload the episode on time? Marvin? Can you hear me? Oh, Jesus. Not again. Right ... Hey, anti-Lincoln! Plug Marvin in for a couple of hours. Make yourself useful! Hi, good people. I'm pretty sure Marvin (my personal robot assistant) uploaded the August episode of our podcast, THIS IS BIG GREEN - our fifth anniversary broadcast! - over the last couple of days, but until he has a decent charge on him I can't be sure. If you listened to it, you know a lot of what I planned to tell you today. But because I am a pedantic motherfucker, I fully intend to tell you about it anyway. Here's what we got under the hood. Ned Trek 29: Error of Mercy - This latest episode of our Star Trek political parody audio melodrama is based on the classic Star Trek episode titled "Errand of Mercy". (For you non-aficionados, here's the IMDB listing .) The crew of the Free Enterprise arrives at the planet Origami just ahead of the Confederation's arch rivals, the Cleento...