Problem child.

Okay, blow out the candles. Try harder. Nope, nothing. Try again. What the hell ... you'd think at your age you would have this worked out by now. Silly kid.

Right, so before you call child protective services, let me reassure you that we, of Big Green, are all biologically childless. The line stops here! And it's just as well. No, sir ... I was just in the midst of celebrating the nineteenth birthday of our first commercial release (a.k.a. album), 2000 Years to Christmas, which was released .... I don't know ... sometime after Christmas in 1999. Nice timing, right? Typical. Anyway, that was a few weeks ago, and I'm glad to say it's pretty small in the rear view mirror at this point.

So, 2000 Years To Christmas was our biggest seller. That's not saying much. Of course, it was released relatively early in the era of online retail, and over the course of the succeeding decades it has wormed its way into any number of places online. A simple Google search on the title will show you what I mean. (Take a look at the image tab on that search if you want a cheap laugh.) It kind of has a life of is own, which is strange because we gave it life almost twenty years ago. It's in those rebellious years, when your child tries to distance her/himself from you as much as possible. 2000 Year To Christmas never goes shopping with us anymore, and when it's out with its friends and sees us on the street, it looks away.

They grow up so fast.We're actually planning kind of a special party for its twentieth next year. Don't tell it we said so - we'd like it to be a surprise. I was thinking maybe a nice new CD player, or one of those disc stands that holds maybe 200 albums. Hell, we could fill four of those with unsold copies of that thing. (Psst ... don't tell 2000 Years To Christmas that we said that, either.) In fact, forget we even had this conversation. Who are you again?

Right, well ... maybe I'm being a little cautious. Nineteen is such an awkward age, and 2000 Years To Christmas still doesn't know what it wants to do with its life. Maybe trade school will be the thing. Maybe, I don't know ... maybe next year.

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