Transit time.

Mmmbbgh. fffmmmprphhh dblffffmmmbfff. mmfmnfb! Okay, okay... so I'll stop dictating. Awfully hard to make yourself understood with a sweaty bandana tied over your gob. Must... reach.... ENTER... key.... nnghh....


There! New paragraph. Hello again, Big Green aficionados, and welcome to another installment of Hammer Mill Days, that mentally fractured, unspeakably pointless journal of our travels from nowhere to nowhere fast. As many of you may recall, we were in the process of hitchhiking our way across the placid countryside of upstate New York, towards our adopted homestead a.k.a. the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, when the lot of us were cruelly abducted, bound, gagged, and stuffed into the back of a panel van. That's the bad news. The good news is that I think we're traveling in the right direction... and we're making pretty good time. Now... that ENTER key again... nnnghh... (click!)


Yes! As you can well imagine, this has been a bit of a morale-buster, what with our mixing project awaiting us and a production schedule that loses more ground by the hour. (And our corporate label, Loathsome Prick Records, is not known for its patience.) But what the hell can you do, right? So with the assistance of Marvin (my personal robot assistant), I'll take advantage of this unplanned sojourn to answer a few cyber-grams from our avid readers. Ready, Marvin? Ready?? Oh, right.... they put a bucket over his head. Well... here's the first note, anyway...



dear big green,


your lame-ass blog never seems to go anywhere but down. i can see why you changed the freaking name. why don't you fuckers shut the fuck up and play some fucking music before i fucking step all over your shit.


- m. f. friendly, Boise, Idaho



Thanks for that message, m.f. We couldn't agree more! Fact is, we would far sooner be making music than doing what we're doing now. Only trouble is, we appear to be caught in some kind of pernicious space-time vortex that turns all joy into soul-crushing angst. Drop by and visit some time - there's always room for more!


Next message....



Our Warmest Greetings!!! Incomparable proposition for you Dear Clients!!! Only these 5 days for your byers incredible rebates!!! On all pharma you need!!! Fill in your life with colors of merriment!!!


Sincerely Yours,

On-line association of druggists



Hey, "On-line"... Seriously, now - this is the fourteenth time you've written us this week. Give somebody else a chance to ask something, will you? I mean, it's not fair to all the other Big Green fans... like Felix Richter and Ola Dooley. They've been writing too.


Okay, we seem to be pulling over to a truck stop of some kind, so maybe one more message - this one from Guy Incab, no known address....



Dear Big Green....


Keep it down back there or I'll break your fucking heads.


Best wishes,


guy in cab



Uh, right. Thanks, guy. Well, I guess that's probably enough typing for now.... don't want to make the driver nervous. Oh, and if you get anywhere within shouting distance of my mom's house, tell her Matt and I said mmmpfhfwrrrgwabflllrmmmm!!!!

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