Hammer Mill Days

Marvin, can you hear me? Marvin ? Damn ... that's just the echo of my own voice. I was wondering why Marvin would be calling out to himself. Marvin!? Right, so ... I think we went a little too far with the archaeological dig, particularly once we got Mitch Macaphee, our mad science advisor, and Marvin (my personal robot assistant) involved. At first it was just a lark - we took a shovel to the floor of the Cheney Hammer Mill's sub-basement just to see what we could find. Turns out there's a lot of dirt down there. (Little known fact: the Earth is largely composed of dirt. I suspect that's why "earth" is a synonym of "dirt".) Sure, we turned up our share of lost quarters, belt buckles, tie clips and fossilized coelacanths , but that was about it. Then Mitch decided to get involved, and of course, all hell broke loose. That is to say, he used one of his patented Particle Beam Generators™ to burn a hole through the Earth's crust, clear down to ...

Okay, can we all agree on something, people? Try this: the President of the United States is a remarkable dolt who knows nothing about anything outside of - perhaps - real estate and licensing his trademarks. His grasp of American history is tenuous at best and indicative of illiteracy at worst. He always seems to return to the subject of slavery and the Civil War, perhaps because he is surrounded by crackpot white supremacists who fill his empty head with their hateful opinions and convenient factual inaccuracies. The comments about Andrew Jackson are just the latest example, though when he talks about people like "Sharpknife" Jackson he seems actually to be talking about himself. It's not at all surprising that Trump thinks that he himself could have prevented the Civil War. As a master-level narcissist, he thinks himself capable of anything. And even when he can't accomplish anything, he celebrates and brags about it like he did. This week, when the House of Repr...