Friday, May 1, 2015

Inside April.

Jesus, that's god-awful. Turn that shit down, man! What the hell are you listening to, anyway? Some kind of reality show reruns? Oh .... it's our podcast. Nevermind.

Okay, so we have this podcast, see? And it kind of sucks, see? But we're proud of it anyway, so that naturally leads me to want to tell you all about the latest episode, hot off the presses here at the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill. Let's take a look under the hood, shall we?

Item the First: Ned Trek XXIII - Doo-Dah Dancing - This episode of our post-modern satirical space opera (a bizarre-ass mashup of classic Star Trek, Mr. Ed, and the 2012 Presidential election) is loosely based on the 3rd season classic ST episode entitled "Turnabout Intruder", in which Captain Kirk's body is taken over by an ex-girlfriend/scientist - typical season 3 ridiculousness, and perhaps the most asinine episode ever. In this distorted version of that degraded reality, Captain Willard Mittilius Romney is forced to exchange consciousness with a one-time dance partner with ambitions to, dare she say it, take over the Free Enterprise and rule ... the universe! Special appearances by Peter Lorre and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, among others.

That's freaking childish.Song: Aw Shoot, by Big Green - This song is from our 2013 album, Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. It's a funky little number, somewhat reminiscent of the theme music from a bad 80's foreign sci-fi film whose name I won't mention. Scandinavian accents are kind of a giveaway.

Put the Phone Down - Matt and I discuss a range of issues touching on matters of vital importance to the future of humankind ... NOT. Mostly some bad singing, talk of racist friends of the family, insults heaped upon the memory of Al Jolson, and so on.

Song: Poor Dick, by Big Green - Another selection from Cowboy Scat: Songs in the Key of Rick. This one tells a tale of Rick Perry taking desperate measures to save his pal Dick Cheney by procuring a replacement heart for the ailing Vice President, taking care not to pick one that pumped life-giving blood through the veins of a socialist. Rick finds the perfect donor: Breitbart! Hilarity ensues. Only song I know that uses "aveoli" in a rhyme scheme.

Shades of Gray.

When will we stop being surprised when another young black man is dispatched by the police? By "we" I mean, we white people? Freddie Gray is just the latest victim of the New Jim Crow (basically the same as the old one, except a little less rhetorically overt). My initial impression at news of this fresh outrage was, if this had been a lynching in 1951, would any of us doubt who was responsible? This is freaking ridiculous. Sure, I know - investigation of any crime and prosecution of perpetrators is complex and time-consuming, for Christ on a bike - it isn't like they found the guy on the street with a broken neck. He died in police custody. How many interviews does that take?

Freddie GrayMonday night Baltimore was burning, in places. Tuesday morning, we heard all the usual stuff. Why are they burning their own neighborhoods down? What's the matter with these people? Hey ... they looted a liquor store? Same crap every time this happens. These, incidentally, are not the questions asked after every sports-related victory (or defeat) riot that happens in major American cities. Of course, those "thugs" tend to be mostly white people. They tend to belong to a more privileged class. Nothing to see here.

How are the police behaving in the wake of this popular anger? Here again, same story. Show of massive force, check. Leaking selected details from the investigation, check. Police union head saying astoundingly idiotic and tone-deaf shit, check. The story began circulating on Thursday, corroborated by multiple sources from within the public safety establishment in Baltimore, no doubt, that Freddie Gray was, in some measure, responsible for his own death. Just like Michael Brown, who "charged" officer Wilson, "bulking up" in a Hulk-like effort to withstand the hail of bullets, so we were told. Just like Trayvon Martin, who tried to grab Zimmerman's gun before the wannabe cop used it on him, so we were told. They try to rule the narrative, just as they try to rule the streets.

Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has spared a few words for the injustice of it all. This seems to be a new development in her character. Indeed, the two most frequently mentioned Democratic presidential candidates - Clinton and Martin O'Malley - both bear the stain of extremist policing.

A day later, charges have been brought against the officers. Unusual, but of course, superficial in that it's the street cops - not the policymakers - who get the ax. Plenty of blame to go around here, folks.

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