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Showing posts from January 24, 2016

Yo mama.

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Okay, so what are we inventing this week? Ten gallon sippy cups? Anti gravity yo-yos? It's worth asking. I hate to be the one always checking up on our mad science advisor, Mitch Macaphee. For one thing, the hazmat suit doesn't fit me very well. And I can't speak very clearly through that portable blast shield, particularly with the welder's mask on. Suffice to say that you enter his lab at your own risk, so we only do it when absolutely necessary. Very often I will send Marvin (my personal robot assistant) in with a note clutched in one of his claws. Not that Marvin is expendable, you understand. It's just that he has wheels and can roll backwards. If I sent Anti-Lincoln or the mansized tuber in there, they could end up on melba toast with a caper in their eye. (That's the caper.) Fact is, the only reason I'm venturing into Mitch's wing of the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, our now-permanent squat house, is that the neighbors have been complaining....

Next, the voters.

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Getting a late start on this. I had to turn the TV off - MSNBC was showing the ass-clown Trump again. Beats the hell out of me why they feel compelled to give the man so much free airtime, but there you go. In any case, Iowa votes, in a manner of speaking, next week and Trump may walk away with his first big victory ... or not. Can't say that I care which of those strange political objects receive the enthusiastic endorsement of some of corn country's biggest bigots. It's basically the same general deal with any one of the Republicans. They like to pretend not - that there are moderates and more serious candidates as well as the extremists and the very silly alternatives - but that's a lot of gas. They're all a major threat to peace and prosperity; just listen to them. Who's the moderate in that race? Christie? Don't say Christie. He's vehemently anti choice, wants to provoke war with Russia, and has all the racial sensitivity of Nixon during his drunk...