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Showing posts from April 13, 2008

Tubotosis.

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Here, boy. Heeere, boy! That's a good boy.... come on, got a little treat for you. Over here, boy. That's right. Over.... oh, goddamn it! Oh, hi, friends. (And I mean friends in the Facebook / MySpace sense.... in other words, total strangers.) Caught me at a bad time, actually. No, I'm not trying to coax a stray dog out from under the tool shed. It's the man-sized tuber.... he's gone all reclusive on us. I think it's a "back to nature" kick of some kind. Here tubey's been as mobile as a biped these last seven years, and he seemed quite content, really... especially since we procured that ergonomically designed go-cart for him some time back. Of course, appearances can be deceiving, and apparently (or non-apparently) our man-sized tuber has been harboring some regrets over his life with the humanoids. Pining for the fields of home, it seems. He misses his fellow tubers, and who can blame him? (They make such good companions...) Anyway, he took his

Electile dysfunction.

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Did you see the "debate" on ABC last night? In case you thought there was some slim chance the issues might get at least a cursory hearing, you will have been severely disappointed. This is turning out to be the first 100% issue-free election season, stuffed with infantile claims, charges, and counter-charges that would shame an elementary school contest. An astounding 45 minutes was spent at the outset on 3 points of earth-shattering concern to every American: Do Barack Obama's recent comments mean he's an "elitist"? Do Reverend Wright, William Ayers, and Louis Farrakhan speak for Obama? Does the fact that Obama doesn't always wear a little 59-cent flag lapel pin mean that he hates America? I'm not sure who put in a more despicable performance last night - the amazingly smug Hillary Clinton or the so-called "moderators", Charlie Gibson and George Snuffleupagus. First question - why the fuck is something as central as a presidential debate