Hammer Mill Days

All I've got is a three and a deuce. You've got queens? Christ almighty, Mitch. What do you have, a printing press over there? Isn't that the third hand like that you've.... Oh, wait a minute, I have to get to work here... Hi, everyone. It is I, Joe Perry of Big Green. No, not Joe Perry of Aerosmith. The other Joe Perry. And on behalf of the other members of Big Green, as well as assorted denizens of their entourage, I have been asked to make the following statement. This is NOT a test. This is an ACTUAL OFFICIAL STATEMENT from the band Big Green. Ahem . The founding members of Big Green, Joseph M. Perry and Matthew J. Perry, hereby disavow and deny any connection, either familial or professional, with the group known as The Band Perry. Any claims made by any person or persons suggesting such a connection are patently false and possibly malicious. Big Green shall henceforth neither confirm nor deny any such claims, as the members feel that this statement is suffic...

My guess is that Marco Rubio is speaking now as I write these lines, serving up a fitting introduction for the nominee - or Rominee - of last resort for the Republican party. A speech filled with platitudes about freedom from, I don't know, the tyranny of a pension or reliable health insurance in your old age, spoken by the son of escapees from communist Cuba. As Ryan put it on Wednesday night, the present-day G.O.P. sees everything to the left of Ayn Rand as sclerotic socialism, including legislative initiatives - like the individual mandate and cap and trade - that they themselves invented only a handful of years ago. (Ryan himself couldn't even stick to his Randian creed for three minutes, decrying a nanny state where "everything is free except you" then paying tribute to the Medicare his mother purportedly depends on.) I don't know about these guys, but that "everything free" part probably sounds pretty attractive to a lot of Americans right now. W...