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Friday, June 9, 2017

Level nine.

That's not a gondola, Mitch. That's a freaking elevator. Six weeks of screwing around, scraping up all of the coins out of our various seat cushions, and what have we got - an elevator to the center of the Earth. You don't need an elevator to go there - the gravity will take you!

Right, well, as you can see, we're grappling with the contradictions that fall out of having a tunnel to the Earth's core in the basement of your squat house. I'm sure you've had days like that. Why is it a tunnel and not a mere hole? Well, it is the intended use of the thing that defines the thing, and it is our intent to use it as a pathway to fame and fortune ... or at least, remuneration equal to the cost of a cheap sandwich at the local diner. Big Green doesn't aim high, people - that's why we're looking down a hole to the center of the Earth and seeing opportunity.

And though I may have just read the riot act to Mitch, an elevator like the Giardiniera Twelve isn't necessarily a bad thing to have when you have a hole of this type in your basement. It might prove to be damned convenient, particularly if some of the subterranean strata call for a closer look. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) can act as the operator - he's got the right gravitas (or lack of same), and of course he's been down the hole once already. In fact, it's thanks to the insta-matic camera Mitch installed in Marvin's stomach that we have any idea of what's going on down there. Apparently, quite a lot.

Squx?Just as an example: nine levels down, there's a cavernous opening that leads into what looks like a geological circus tent. Interestingly, the stalactites look like rhesus monkeys and the stalagmites look like sea turtles. An enterprising young robot assistant might make his or her way down there with a box of paints, go to work, and before you know it you have the Petrified Creatures Museum. Either that or the lawn ornament shop that, purely by chance, was established right next door.

That's just one level, folks. Lots more where that came from. Get ready to crank up the pit elevator - this band is going down!

Gulf War IV.

Yes, I know ... Trump is melting down, and I should say something about it. The truth is, there's little to say that hasn't already been said. It's not like the Republican Congress is going to do anything about him - far from it. They invented the freaking guy. He is their Frankenstein's monster. If they ever pull an intervention on him, it's going to start with, "Hello, handsome!"

You are not evil ... you are GOOD!Besides, there are more important things going on, partly as a result of having a dolt as president. The Qatar crisis is one of those things, and after Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, the UAE, Yemen (or the Saudi controlled piece of it), and Egypt abruptly broke off diplomatic relations with the country, Trump had this to say on Twitter:

"...so good to see the Saudi Arabia visit with the King and 50 countries already paying off. They said they would take a hard line on funding extremism, and all reference was pointing to Qatar. Perhaps this will be the beginning of the end to the horror of terrorism!"

Qatar, mind you, hosts a major U.S. military base that serves as a staging area for operations in the Gulf. Setting aside for a moment the absurdity of a state like Saudi Arabia accusing someone of sponsoring terrorism, Trump's comments appear to confirm that the U.S. gave a green light to the Gulf Cooperation Council states to pull this number. The White House subsequently backed off of the President's drunk tweet, claiming the president had called the Qatari Emir and "emphasized the importance of all countries in the region working together to prevent the financing of terrorist organizations and stop the promotion of extremist ideology," essentially offering to mediate. That sounds like the foreign policy establishment stepping in somewhat hurriedly to keep this from spinning out of control.

My reaction to this has been, what the fuck? I think the most reasonable explanation I've heard thus far was from Trita Parsi on Democracy Now!, suggesting that Saudi and its allies may have done this as a strike against Al Jazeera in advance of a renewed offensive against Iran (which just got attacked by ISIS extremists on Wednesday). Do we need a fourth Gulf War, after Iran-Iraq (1980-88), the Gulf War/Desert Storm (1991), and the Iraq War (2003 - whenever)? Apparently Trump thinks so.

This was a dramatic and disturbing departure. Not confident about what will come next.

luv u,

jp