Homearriving.
Yeah, there's some in here, too. Yep, all over the floor. Jesus Christ on a bike. Where are all the freaking buckets? Why don't squatters have landlords ... with buckets? Oh, hi... Yes, Big Green has made its triumphant return to Earth from its somewhat less-than-triumphant [INSERT NAME HERE] Interstellar Tour 2011, pulling our rental spacecraft into a low, low ... very low parking orbit (approximately 100 feet above the Earth's surface) over the Cheney Hammer Mill, our abandoned mill of a home in upstate New York. And, as will happen when one leaves one's home for a stretch of weeks, some maintenance issues have emerged to greet us, providing us with distraction even before we've had the chance to remove our tour galoshes. They say all roofs leak, but I doubt they all leak this badly. My converted hammer assembly room suite looks like a freaking swimming pool. I think I see fish. Right, well... that's the kind of problem you expect. What I didn't expect w...