Hammer Mill Days

THE BIG GREEN FAMILY HOLIDAY NEWSLETTER Happy holidays, everybody. Man, has it been a year already? Can't believe it. Seems like it was just yesterday when last we were filling you in on the inane details of our tawdry little lives. Tempus fugit. (So fuggit. ) Anyway, here's the news from our neck of the woods... Matt's doing okay, thanks very much. He finished that little project he was working on - you know, the papier-mache helicopter that can fly between dimensions and traverse great distances fueled only by a LePage glue gun. Man, THAT was a big disappointment! Gave the prop a spin, tossed it over the battlements, and down to the street it went like a week-old cabbage. Man got to have his hobbies, you know. If it weren't for the daily task of keeping those bazooka-toting, treestand-dwelling deer murderers away from the back forty, I don't know how else he would occupy his time. A lot of you ask about the two little Lincolns, and small wonder. Cute little fell...

Obama does Oslo this week. There's been a lot of commentary on this, including my own, so I won't add much at this point. Suffice to say, he's collecting the award the Norwegian Nobel committee gave the people of the United States for electing someone who isn't totally bug-fuck nuts and for putting the enormous American imperial locomotive back onto its tracks. Yeah, it's still belching toxic smoke and running people over, but it's doing it along a predictable line, pulling a bunch of lesser cars behind it, and that makes people a lot more comfortable. Let's face it - Dubya thought the train was a go-cart. He drove it on the grass, into the middle of the street, through people's living rooms, etc., to the point where no one wanted to hitch-up their boxcar anymore (except our trusty coal-car Britain and, I don't know, Palau). Now that choo-choo Charlie has chugged his scrawny ass back to Texas, everybody wants back onto the empire gravy train. So... g...