Hammer Mill Days

What's that, tubey? Losing pressure? Damn shame, that. And the gravity control is malfunctioning? Criminy. Oh, heck... there goes our navigation console. Reduced to molten lead. Sometimes things just don't go right in deep space. Hi, Big Green fans. Yes, well... we've finally gotten off the ground, pulling away from the Cancri 55 solar system at 40% of light velocity. Only trouble is, those repairs that our old friend sFshzenKlyrn effected just prior to our departure are turning out to be of somewhat less than the highest quality. Damn if I didn't buy that service contract! I could have had the butt-crack guy from Sears up hear patching this decrepit ship together. Hindsight is 20:20, as they say. (What is that behind me? Looks like... an eye chart !) Feeling a bit of buyer's remorse out here in deep space, as it happens, our life-giving oxygen seeping out into the void, our hands flailing uselessly as our legs float towards the ceiling. This is just the sort of...

Here's an open letter to voters and caucus-goers in New Hampshire and Iowa. (Hey, it's Christmas - what the hell, right?) More than anybody anywhere in this vast country, your now have the ability to call the major party candidates on just about any topic, whether it's torture of detainees, the war in Iraq, health care, whatever. What's more, you have the opportunity to make a greater political impact than that of much larger populations in New York, California, and other major states. How so? Well, for one thing, you can choose from among nearly the entire field of candidates - by the time the race gets to New York, for instance, it will essentially be over. Sure, there may not be a lot of variety there, but it's better than a ballot of one. And you - particularly those folks in Iowa - can stand in a not-too-crowded living room with one of these fuckers, challenge them with non pre-fabricated questions, and go mano-a-mano politically with ordinarily very isolated a...