Hammer Mill Days

Good evening, everybody... glad you could tune in. This is Joe of Big Green , and I'm joined here by my bandmate/brother Matt Perry, mad scientist Mitch Macaphee, and Marvin (my personal robot assistant). We're running this little web-a-thon to raise funds for our bail, frankly. That's why we're broadcasting from this cramped little cell in a Kaztropharian jail. Yes, yes... we landed back in the crowbar hotel here on Kaztropharius 137b thanks to the efforts of Mitch, here, who took it upon himself to start playing ducks and drakes with the planet's gravitational field. Long story short, it ended up more drakes than ducks, and a pound of flour on Kaztropharius 137b now clocks in at about five tons. At 37 drachmas a pound... well, you do the math. No one can afford the stuff. Bread factories are closing down. Bread riots have plagued the capital. And as the last pockets of resistance are vanquished, the emperor gazes ruefully down from his citadel and ponders the ...

Just a few short shots today. Hopefully one of them will approach some acceptable level of accuracy. Out of work / luck. The House failed to reach the 2/3 majority it needed this week to approve extending unemployment benefits to the millions out of work for an exceedingly long period of time - about 9.6 percent of us, if you count every part-time burger flipper as "employed" (and don't even count those unemployed but no longer looking for work). Once again, our great lawmakers are playing ducks and drakes with people's lives, blaming the victim, punishing those who have paid for their bad decisions. Got the number of your congressman/woman? Get on the phone to them and tell them to vote for this sucker, even if it adds to the freaking deficit. This is a question of survival for millions of American families - what's more important than that? Gitmo conviction. Justice Department prosecutors have won the case against a Gitmo detainee Ahmed Ghailani, but are losin...