Hammer Mill Days

Hey, can you hear me down there? Mitch? Tubey? Hellllooooooooo!!!! Oh, yeah - he's done it again. Our mad science advisor Mitch Macaphee is the "he" I mean, and he's ... well .. cracked like any good mad scientist would be. I told him a dozen times that building underground tunnels to other countries is just not a very good idea. I warned him that there would be perhaps dire consequences to attempting such a project. Why... just tell me, why do mad scientists NEVER LISTEN TO REASON? WHY MUST THEY DESTROY THEMSELVES AND ALL THAT THEY LOVE? I guess it's just part of the narrative of mad science. You've seen it a million times, on the late, late, late show. Science fiction always makes the evil pay, just like 50's and 60's television. Look at how superman made that clown pay! He asked for it, goddamnit. Um... but I digress. It seems as though Mitch has made the decision to build a separate tunnel to every nation on Earth. He started with Alabama (which h...

Still under it, so I'll make this brief. The BP oil spill is shaping up to be one of the greatest environmental catastrophes in the age of greed. Comparisons have been made to the Exxon Valdez and the Santa Barbara spill, but this thing is potentially in a whole different category. For one thing, it isn't a finite amount of oil leaking from a tanker. This thing is gushing straight from the well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico at a rate of 5,000 barrels a day. Even if they deal with the enormous plume heading towards the coast now, there will be more right behind it. Also... this is threatening some of the most sensitive, most biodiverse wetland areas in the United States. Perhaps 40% of the nation's wetlands lie along that coastline, home to god knows how many species of birds, etc. Ecologically speaking it's the soft underbelly of the nation - the fact that makes drilling in the gulf such a reckless choice. What the hell is this going to mean for this amazingly ric...