Well, there's rice.
I hear rocks... rocks bubbling. Or is that something else. Wait a tick, wait a tick... could be... Yes, by god it is. It's... the man-sized tuber cooking dinner. Again. I suppose it probably comes as no surprise to those of you who have known Big Green for more than a week or two that an oversized vegetable does much of our cooking. Yeah, we're vegetarians, and I think that particularly resonates with the man-sized tuber - my guess is that he thinks the safest place for a vegetable around here is on the handle-end of the ladle. Fact is, we don't eat a lot of root vegetables, and the man-sized tuber is far too tough to roast, far to fibrous to fry, far too husky to boil. He's just plain inedible, that's what it comes down to. (Though with a handful of shallots and a splash of merlot, he might respond to an overnight marinade. Mmmmmm-boy.) Wait, tubey, wait.... just kidding, man! Aw, put the pot down. Put it DOWN. No. NO . NOOOOOOOO... Oh, okay - he's just moving...