Hammer Mill Days

You hear that sound? A little subtle, eh? Well, it's cotton on cotton. That's me turning my pockets inside out and shrugging my shoulders. Bottom scraped, my friends. What happened with Big Green 's massive coin salvage program? Well, all of the jars and old sofas have given up their treasure, and the booty is already spent. That's right - we pulled together about $47, all of which went to the electric company. (No, I don't mean the children's television program from the 1970's... I mean the fuckers who keep the lights on.) Then there was that fiver that Marvin (my personal robot assistant) found lying around the forge room. I don't want you to think we're turning on each other in our hour of need, but I will admit that there was a minor tussle over that bill. Mostly it was Marvin (who was too clueless to let it go) and anti-Lincoln (who was determined to get an absinthe over at the local watering hole), but before long we were all involved, flailing...

As some of you know, I've been around more than a few years (get off my lawn, you kids!), so I've heard my share of triumphalist rhetoric about some military action against a "worthy" opponent. But the U.S. Navy vs. some teenage pirates... that's about as lopsided a contest as I can imagine. Sure, they needed to get that ship captain out alive. Perhaps there was no other way to resolve the standoff - I can't say, really. But this is nothing to crow about, and certainly not some enormous success that strikes a blow against tyranny. These pirates are desperate young men driven to a bandit's life by circumstances we can barely comprehend. The very life's blood of international commerce flows right past their shores in the form of these enormous freighters and tankers, and they see this as a meager opportunity to scrape some wealth out of a global system that passes them by. Not surprising that they grasp this nettle, even at risk of life and limb. I, of ...