Part deux.


So, as I was saying.... What was I saying again? Can't keep track, frankly. Give me a moment to page back through my previous utterances. Ah, yes. A day in the life.


5:30 p.m. Sifting through the mountain of complaints I've received after posting the last blog. Seems like people don't like hearing blow-by-blow descriptions of how we spend our time. Strange... because even though it seems that way, I remain convinced that they do care. Maybe it's the Zenite snuff sFshzenKlyrn plied me with earlier, I don't know.


6:47 p.m. A noise begins drifting up from the basement. At first I think it may be some kind of diseased creature, wandered in through the sewer lines in search of sweet revenge. As I move closer to the stairwell, however, I realize it's just my comrades tuning up for another rehearsal. Why don't they ever tell me about these rehearsals? (Perhaps they announce them at the band meetings that... I never... attend.... oh, yeah.)


7:01 p.m. Rehearsal's over. Man, that was taxing! Almost as much so as that new tax on beer and wine. Oh my God - those madmen in Albany.... what are they doing to us?!? How am I EVER going to come up with another 1-1/2 cents to spend on a six pack? It's MADNESS!!!


9:50 p.m. There's a hole in the living room wall. Not an ordinary hole, mind you - a hole into another dimension. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) ran across it while he was doing the tidying up. (He doubles as one of those robotic vacuum cleaners - pretty versatile.) Don't know how it got there, but my guess is that this is the result of some experiment Mitch Macaphee, our mad science adviser, has been working on. Lot of racket, noxious fumes, and heavy vibrations coming from his makeshift lab, just lately. Must have landed himself a grant somewhere.


10:15 p.m. This just in - Anti-Lincoln has wandered into the trans-dimensional wormhole in the living room. God, I hate when he does that!


That's one Lincoln out the door. Good thing we've got a spare.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

R.I.P., uber rich lady atop killer empire

Image
When the queen of England died last week, I felt bad for the 96-year-old human being that she was, a lady about the age of my late mother. I take no joy in the death of anyone, even people I’m not crazy about, so all due condolences to her family who, I hear, are planning a quiet little funeral. Did I say little? I meant large … in fact, six billion pounds worth of funeral. Such is the institution of the British monarchy – still crazy after all these years. No, I’m not a fan of “The Royals”. I watched The Crown on Netflix or whatever, and it was mildly entertaining in a slightly nuanced gossipy kind of way. (They went way too easy on Thatcher and made Robert Kennedy look like a cheap wing man for his wife-beating brother the President.) But generally I avoid T.V. dramas about royalty mostly because it bores the living piss out of me. Then there’s that small matter of imperialism , but let’s try to keep our thoughts positive, eh, what? They’re changing the guard at T
Read more

Pulling the plug is never as easy as it looks

Image
I don’t know. I’m effing sick of this. Are you effing sick of this, too? You are ? Wow … okay. For how many years? Damn …. why didn’t you say so? I was just doing this to keep YOU happy! Well, you learn something new every day. Or at least every week. Except last week – I was kind of too busy to learn anything. It gets like that sometimes. Anyway, let’s just agree to say that you learn something new every little once in a while. Maybe every time Sylvie brings you some water. Like in the Leadbelly Song . But I digress. What the this is The “this” we’re kvetching about is this thing called blogging. We’ve been doing it for twenty years, and somehow – seemingly unnoticed by us – the world has kind of moved on. Now everything is social media, social media, etc. A few still blog, outside of the corporate shills, but it’s not really a thing anymore, and well … that’s a shame. Still, blogging has its place. I just don’t know whether or not its place is here, exactly.
Read more

Stop hiding your light under that bushel.

Image
Well, Trump started channeling QAnon in a big way this week at an Ohio rally. I’m assuming anyone who reads this blog knows what QAnon is. It’s basically the blood libel, updated for the modern age. Some idiot posted some random shit on 4chan (which happens basically every second) claiming that s/he is a secret intelligence operative and was spilling tea on upcoming FBI raids on Trump’s political enemies. It was supposed to happen in 48 hours and, of course, it didn’t. That failure, however, didn’t stop the true believers. These people must be total knuckleheads. Who would earnestly believe this crap? Of course, people have a tendency to believe whatever places them in a positive light. Whatever the case may be, QAnon has a lot of followers , and they are apparently laser-focused on the conspiracy theory. Trump is their greasy, corpulent pope. It makes total sense that he would pull those people close – they are the scrum who never left him. What they think they’re
Read more