Put it on.

Stage props? Never really thought much of them, frankly. What the hell are we, summer stock? We're a bleedin' band, man! Oh, all right, all right. But just the enormous styrofoam sphinx. No pyramid. I SAID, NO PYRAMID!

Oh, sorry, my friend. Hope that wasn't too loud. I was just trying to get my point across to Anti-Lincoln... the idea that Big Green is not a flash band with a truckload of stage props, seven costume changes, makeup, extras, pyrotechnics, fog machines, etc. Never part of that movement, frankly. No, no.... our roots go back to a simpler time, when the earth was new and the sky was darkened by flocks of cawing pterodactyls. Not that roots have a lot to do with it. Actually, our musical influences are the more pared-down groups of the 60's and early 70's, and plain-clothes alternative types from much later. Anti-Lincoln doesn't think that's visually interesting enough. He would sooner we change our names to, I don't know, "Great Speckled Bird" or "Pilot and the Now Tones", then don sequined capes and climb like apes on multicolored scaffolding while jumbotrons play a DVD of some Bergman movie. I, for one, think that would be a bit much. And you?

Yeah, it's hard to keep everyone happy around here, particularly now that we're in the planning stages of our next interplanetary tour, tentatively titled: "Destination Space: Big Green's Galactic Tour 2009". What's the itinerary? Glad you asked. Nothing is written in stone, as you might well imagine. All we've got around the mill is pencils and pens, no chisels. What we've got written on paper, however, is perhaps worthy of mention. Can't really share all the details, but what I can tell you is that, if you happen to be in the neighborhood of the planet Neptune sometime in mid-July, you may get the opportunity to see us bomb-out at yet another airless alien pub. We're determined to book better venues this time out, but if things go the way they usually go (and, well... they usually do), we'll probably play those other places as well. Part of the deal, friends.

Now, to be fair to Anti-Lincoln, he's not the only one who wants to add some kind of visual element to our performances. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) even went so far as to do a sketch of a Big Green stage set - one that has an enormous planet hanging down in the middle (either that or a cantaloupe, I'm not sure which). I think he envisions some expanded performing role for himself and for the man-sized tuber. They used to be satisfied with grabbing a tuba or a banjo or a second-hand guitar and framming away on one side of the stage... now it has to be something more dramatic. I think for the tuber it's all about that heady experience he had during his trip back to the 1860s. Or maybe it's just aphids. (He's been looking a bit badgered lately.)

Well, stage set or now, we'll need to work up some kind of show. Hey, Matt - got any more songs about Lincoln? How about Kublai Khan? Yes? Exxxxcellent.