Pick your poison.


Holy hell. Is that thing on again? Well then, what's that little red light for? And the countdown box.... Twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three....

Oh well. While we're trying to figure out what's going on there... What's been happening here at the mill? Usual stuff. Keeping the roof on, as they say, and the fridge stocked with lunchables. (Or, at least, snackables.) You have to be versatile to please the mix of tastes we have around this joint. Take Lincoln (please). Now, he's a fan of chicken fricassee. Of course, being a vegetarian, I won't have anything to do with the stuff, but that doesn't stop him. He keeps putting it on the shoplifting... I mean, the shopping list. And I keep coming back with tofu. (He's no happier now than he was in 1863.)

But it takes more than food to make a life. We've been working on the next album, as you know. Quite a process. Some of you have been on the inside of our album construction activities, some not. For those of you who haven't witnessed this first-hand, here's a little peek inside our methodology. We start with a big boatload of songs. This time, it's a mishmash of about 60 or 70 numbers that we've done demos for at one point or another. Now you may wonder how, with so many possibilities, we could possibly arrive at a decision on the final project list. There are a number of things Big Green considers... and they include:

  • Specific Gravity - This is a no-brainer. If the specific gravity of a song is too heavy, we try making an alloy by blending it with some more light-hearted material. Failing that, we scrap the sucker. Perhaps the constituent parts will come in handy (they sometimes go into making a first-rate pedal bike).

  • Stock Value - Something that relates back to what I was talking about before, with the chicken fricassee. Before we consider recording a song, we put the lyrics in a pot of water and simmer it for six hours. If it produces a broth that can be used in pilaf or gravy, it's a keeper.

  • Particularness - I don't know if I can explain this. I'm looking for some word in particular... mmm, can't think of it. Oh well... it will come to me.


These and 37 other parameters give us all the data we need to make an informed choice. That's why we say... the quality goes in before... oh wait. That's someone else. What do we say? (It'll come to me....)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

R.I.P., uber rich lady atop killer empire

Image
When the queen of England died last week, I felt bad for the 96-year-old human being that she was, a lady about the age of my late mother. I take no joy in the death of anyone, even people I’m not crazy about, so all due condolences to her family who, I hear, are planning a quiet little funeral. Did I say little? I meant large … in fact, six billion pounds worth of funeral. Such is the institution of the British monarchy – still crazy after all these years. No, I’m not a fan of “The Royals”. I watched The Crown on Netflix or whatever, and it was mildly entertaining in a slightly nuanced gossipy kind of way. (They went way too easy on Thatcher and made Robert Kennedy look like a cheap wing man for his wife-beating brother the President.) But generally I avoid T.V. dramas about royalty mostly because it bores the living piss out of me. Then there’s that small matter of imperialism , but let’s try to keep our thoughts positive, eh, what? They’re changing the guard at T...
Read more

All the king’s robots and all the King’s pens

Image
  We got another one of those notes, man. One of those neighbor notes about the uncut lawn. Let’s say they’re a little disappointed in us. I have to admit, I’m disappointed in us, too. We really SHOULD have mowed that lawn, but we were too damn LAZY and SHIFTLESS. (Please share this post with our neighbors so that they will feel validated.) Anyway, here we are in the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill, no validation in sight … not even for our parking. You know, I think we might be the subject of yet another community effort to rid the neighborhood of ne’er do wells. Frankly, I object to being termed in such a way. I may not always do well, but I certainly sometimes do well. I can’t speak for any of the other members of our entourage, but I for one try to remain on the straight and narrow. (It’s been a bit too narrow lately, though.) Call in the lawn robots Now SOME people I know, and I won’t say who, hire robots to mow their lawn. I’m not super comfortable wi...
Read more

Stop hiding your light under that bushel.

Image
Well, Trump started channeling QAnon in a big way this week at an Ohio rally. I’m assuming anyone who reads this blog knows what QAnon is. It’s basically the blood libel, updated for the modern age. Some idiot posted some random shit on 4chan (which happens basically every second) claiming that s/he is a secret intelligence operative and was spilling tea on upcoming FBI raids on Trump’s political enemies. It was supposed to happen in 48 hours and, of course, it didn’t. That failure, however, didn’t stop the true believers. These people must be total knuckleheads. Who would earnestly believe this crap? Of course, people have a tendency to believe whatever places them in a positive light. Whatever the case may be, QAnon has a lot of followers , and they are apparently laser-focused on the conspiracy theory. Trump is their greasy, corpulent pope. It makes total sense that he would pull those people close – they are the scrum who never left him. What they think they’re...
Read more