Week that was.


Sunday evening, 6:37 p.m. - Mitch Macaphee test-fires the main engine on our ramshackle space craft; the one that will supposedly carry us to many a far-flung rock venue in the galaxy. Based on what I heard, I have my doubts about this vehicle. It took Mitch about fifteen pulls of that rip cord to get the thing smoking, and that's about all it did... smoke. No lift. Matt just looked on and shook his head. I saw that and shook my head. Whole lot of shakin' going on 'round here.

Monday afternoon, 12:45 p.m. - Sumptuous lunch of cheese doodles and expired raisins. Did I say sumptuous? I meant nauseating. Marvin (my personal robot assistant) is practicing his galley skills. He has volunteered to be our ship's cook. Lincoln refuses to call him "cookie" (as Marvin has asked to be called). Anti-Lincoln vehemently disagrees with that refusal. We shake our heads, yet again.

Monday night, 10:30 p.m. - Oh, great - now there's drinking. No, not the band. (I'm on the wagon, for one, after that last tour.) I mean the man-sized tuber. He's chugging great gobs of Miracle Grow in hopes of making himself too big to fit into his interstellar terrarium. Apparently he has come to despise that thing, as he does any object that resembles a pot. Fortunately, he's on wheels, so no matter how large he gets, we can push him along. Or pull him behind. Do plants breathe?

Wednesday morning, 3:00 a.m. - This isn't a legitimate entry... it's just the name of a Simon and Garfunkel album. Pretend you didn't read this.

Thursday afternoon, 2:45 p.m. - Fuel shipment arrives from Madagascar. (Don't ask me. Mitch found the vendor.) Not sure how our spacecraft is supposed to run on compact alfalfa pellets. This shit looks like rabbit food to me. Mitch assures us that this will carry us from one end of the galaxy to the other. And there is much rejoicing.

Friday night, just past 7:00 p.m. - I finally find that ballpoint pen I lost last week. Was scribbling a threatening note to my creditors, and in my incandescent rage, the thing flipped out of my hand and rolled away. Oh... and we started our countdown to liftoff, by the way. I won't tell you how far we've gotten.

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