Cold porridge.


No, we're not having porridge this evening, cold or otherwise. That was Marvin (my personal robot) typing the title for me as he does most weeks. Explains a lot.

What's happening around this place? Usual kind of stuff. We're preparing for the warm weather, which typically comes around this time in the northern hemisphere (for those of you browsing in from Madagascar). That's kind of an involved process. We have to put out the fire we started in the basement last November. No, we don't have a furnace - that's for bourgeois rock bands and... what do they call them? .... symphony orchestras. Hell, no - no furnace for Big Green. We just bust up a bunch of old furniture, baskets, hammer stocks (of which there are many lying around the abandoned Cheney Hammer Mill), and other combustibles, chuck 'em down the basement stairs, light 'em up, and keep it going until March.

Okay, so... first step, put out the fire. Second, open a few windows. I don't know how many of you out there live in abandoned factories. (I'm guessing it's less than a thousand on any given day.) For those of you who have permanent residences in actual houses or other appropriate human habitation, it's probably hard to picture just what we have to go through to get some fresh air into this bloody great brick barn. All of the window hardware is rusted, all of the casings are cracked and paint-sealed. I think the only actual paint left is the stuff holding the windows closed.

Sure... I'm certain someone out there has already asked themselves (or their robot friend) "Why don't they just break the windows?" Or perhaps you're asking, "Does the moon weigh the same when it's in crescent phase as it does when it's full?" Or maybe you ponder other imponderables, such as the tides (they come in, they go out, never a miscommunication) or the weekend lineup on MSNBC. Well, there are answers to all of these questions.... but if I were to simply GIVE them away, you would think me an easy mark, wouldn't you? No, no... everything has a price, my friend. Just let me know how much you want, and I'll send it in the morning post.

Hmmm.... well, I've wandered a bit. Back to producing. Where's that electric banjo?

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