Friday, February 2, 2018

Mark one.

I don't know. I'm not comfortable with this, dude. I mean, Big Green is not a corporation. We're not even a corner store. Hell, we nowhere near the corner.

Oh, hi. Just having a discussion with Big Green's branding team. That is to say, I'm hanging out with Marvin (my personal robot assistant), Anti-Lincoln, and the mansized tuber, and they're talking about branding us. Well ... the ones who can TALK, at least. Matt has kept out of it because he's, well, SANE. We've been hashing this out for the better part of an hour, and I honestly don't think we're accomplishing anything other than annoying the piss out of one another. So, all in all, a very typical brand team meeting.

I don't know why everyone assumes a band should have some kind of logo or brand identity. That just generally seems like a bad idea, but in our case, it's patently absurd. We are a creative collective, divvying up the proceeds equally between us - a headless musical beast, if you will, and everyone gets the same share of the nothing we earn. (There's plenty enough goose-egg to go around, folks.) Still, these guys are talking about a new mark for the band. They're throwing up ideas and seeing which ones fill a bucket. Or stick to the ceiling. It all depends on how you interpret the metaphor, you see.

Big enough?This won't surprise you, but this group has very little imagination. How little? Well ... glad you asked. Basically, their ideas for a Big Green logo consist of different colored circles with a picture of each of them in the center. So tubey has one with tubey's picture, Anti-Lincoln with his, and so on. Never mind what these items say about their concept of this band ... this band that NONE OF THEM RECORDS WITH ... these logos are an atrocity. And now they're talking to me about slogans. What a freaking waste of time!

The fact is, we have only worked with one actual logo in the entire time of our modern existence, from 1986 to the present. That's the one our photographer friend Leif Zurmuhlen created for us back in the day - mark one, if you will. So if we're going to use ANYthing, we're going to use that. Take that, branding team! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Run that up your flagpole.

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